Veiled Moon
Roary had copied a page from Lin's notebook the night before he stole back into her cottage to return it. He read it again now as he drank from a liberal pour of the smooth whiskey. Why he had copied it out he really couldn't say, but somehow the words resonated with him and he knew he wanted to know them better. Hell, he wanted to know the woman who wrote them better.
The Long Dark Veil
In the distance I can sense the light
I can taste the salt spray of the sea
I can hear its tumbling roar on the rocks
Its clarion call, beckoning me, only me
I have wandered too often
The wild, broad, windswept moors
Relishing the scents of heather and peat, the earthy richness
Yet never feeling at one with its haunting majesty.
I have traversed the small villages
Engaged charming voices, open faces at the pubs
The wide eager grins of children near the shore
How I long to believe they see me, but I am as ephemeral as the wind.
In the city, I walk crowded streets, hard paneled board rooms
Engage in corporate battles
Wind-mill tilting at its best
And even here, though my voice is heard, I remain invisible.
I am detached, unseen, un-connected
I long to be someone that someone can see
Long for the salt spray to touch me
The villagers to embrace my smile as I embrace theirs
Long to be whole in the eyes of the world I slip so easily through
Unseen, unknown, yet not unscathed
Perhaps I am safe here in my hollow shell
But I feel this empty shell and it weighs heavy on me
My long dark veil.
It was a dark and haunting piece, yet truly lovely in its own way, he thought. He folded the page and put it in his pocket as he closed up the shop, briefly glancing at the moon before he turned to make his way home. He wondered if she knew just how easily she was seen? Or if she understood how dangerous being seen could be? That last thought sobered him somewhat, enough to but a grim look on his face and a hard set to the line of his shoulders as he made his way to home and hearth.
At the cottage things were relatively peaceful, which was surprising given the day the family had experienced. Quite a lot of action was packed into that small space of time, so Lin could not help but hope that the rest of the visit would be a bit calmer. The boys had been fairly quick to pack off into their room for the night once they had returned. She suspected they were eager to read the books they had procured at Roary's shop. She probably should have asked Sean about what he was hiding, but as it had so obviously been a book and since she did not feel up to another scrap with him, she had let him think she did not see it. What harm could a book from an antique store do? She hardly thought he could read anything more shocking in one of those books than what you could see in a quick five minutes on the television these days. No, it was better to let the day end on an even keel. She had opened a bottle of wine and made up a fire for herself and her mother. It would be good to have some time for just the two of them.
They sat sharing the fire's warmth for several minutes without saying a word. It was just so comfortable to be there together. Her Mom patted her on the hand and smiled. Lin grinned back and then pulled the blanket down, and they spread it out over the two of them.
"Ian and Sean would no doubt make a remark about cold-blooded females if they were out here," said her mother.
"Better that than all sweaty," replied Lin.
"Now Lin, how many times do I have to tell you," replied her mom in a long Southern drawl, "women do not sweat, they perspire."
Then they both broke out giggling. They hugged each other and brought the noise level down as neither wanted to encourage the boys to come out and join them just then. Her mom's face took on a more serious look, "So, how have you been?" she asked.
"I've been okay," Lin replied. "Coming here has been good for me. I really needed to breathe different air. I know that still sounds strange, Mom, but with Sean at the school, there was really no reason to stay rooted in fouled soil."
"You do have a dramatic turn of the tongue, don't you," replied her Mom.
"I do have a writer for a mother," smiled Lin.
"I wish I could have been more for you when you needed it," whispered her Mom.
"No one could have been more than you were and you know it. There are some things you have to learn to brave through. I don't know what I would have done without you there to listen. I still don't understand why he did the things he did, or how he could just chose to disappear like that. It was just so hard for the boys and me to cope with the aftermath, the press and all. I guess I know why he ran, but the absence is hard for the boys. No matter what, he is still their father. I may not have to like it, but that is the truth. He made very bad choices and they hurt all of us tremendously. Now, we have to live in the vacuum he created." She paused, looking at her mom searchingly. "I know my coming here doesn't make sense to you or anyone else. But please try to understand that everything I knew has been blown apart. Everything I believed in, except for you and the boys, just wiped out."
"Honey, that was two years ago. We would have understood it better if you had gone then," said her Mother softly.
"I have learned a few other lessons about believing in fairy tales since that time. I think I just need you to accept that I need this time to get rid of any vestige of that childish gullability so that I know I will move forward safely when I get back."
"You are choosing a dull life road, little girl."
"I am choosing to be an adult. Finally. Now, tell me about your trip to Oxford." Lin's tone made it clear the subject was over and she wanted to move on to lighter subjects. Her Mom eyed her warily, but complied. They talked about their mutual travels and the latest piece her mother was writing for the "Traverler's Guide to Literature on the Road." Apparently, she was going to write about Yeats and Gregory when she returned, so they would need to plan to fit in two specific trips out to the Tower and Lady Gregory's estate for her research while they were here.
"Its a good thing that I haven't planned anything ahead of time," laughed Lin. Then she paused, "Though I do hope the swan will be healed up soon. I really don't want to leave the poor thing there with no help to go gallivanting about. And I definitely don't want to spend this trip sitting here while you do all the gallivanting."
"There must be someone who can step in if you need to go," said her mom complacently.
"Well, there is one other person who knows about him, but I am not too sure the bird will let that beast of a man anywhere near him." And with that comment she filled her Mom in on Roary James, all the way up to finding Sean hidden away in the office of the shop. By the time she was done, they were rolling in laughter again. "I guess saying it to you makes him seem much more harmless, but I am telling you, Mom, there is something about that man that just sets my teeth on edge."
"We can't like everyone we meet," said her Mom with a yawn. "I am off to bed, you've had me up way too late. And look at that, you forced me to finish the whole bottle of wine with you. What in the world will I tell my Grandsons tomorrow? Got it. I'll tell them you drank it!" And with that little flourish, she gave her daughter a quick hug and made her getaway to her room, chuckling all the way.
Lin smiled. Her mother always found a way to laugh when times were tough. And she only laughed more if you added a bit of wine to the mix. She put the bottle in the trash and washed up the glasses. On an impulse she grabbed her jacket and stepped outside to glance up at the moon. "Who else is looking at this very same moon tonight?" she wondered.
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