Its another grey day in the neighborhood - rain again. Good for the soil - hard on the soul, unless you are lucky enuogh to get to spend the day at home.
Its on days like this that I most want to stay home, wrap up in a cozy blanket and doze. Perhaps spend some time listening to some really great music - letting the walls absorb and reflect the sound. Yes, I like to play it loud. Which is great when your neighbors are all at work and you have the block to yourself. Not so great when they are home - you just can't assume they will love your music just because you love it.
And judging from what they Rock-out to on the weekends, I am pretty sure we do not have the same taste. At all. I have three neighbors that like to play it loud. The one to the left has two small kids. When the mom is covering the daytime cruise they usually play Kidz Bop type stuff. Its not bad, and at least it is not the "Barney" theme song. Actually it is pretty cool to clean the house to as long as you are not getting into any heavy lifting. When Dad has the controls it is pretty much heavy drums. That would be because the system gets turned off and he goes into the basement and bangs on his drum set. Seriously - bangs on the drum set. I would tell you what genre he plays, but I don't think he has figured that out yet.
The neighbor to the right plays a soft classical. I only know this from having tea with her on Sundays or Holidays. She does not rock the neighborhood, she is however very organic and wonderfully Zen to hang out with. Next to her (to her left) and kitty-corner to me in the back-yard are the consistent week-end party neighbors. About once a month during reasonably good weather, they throw a party. Their musical taste got stuck somewhere in the late 70-s and 80's. Don't get me wrong, I actually like Donna Summers. It just sort of hard to take in large doses of MacArthur Park at top volume after midnight several weekends in a row. Kind of makes you want to leave a cake out in the rain - on their patio. Of course by morning you do get over the sentiment - even if you do spend the next 48 hours getting rid of the song in your head. Happily the chilly weather has set in so Donna is retired until April.
Believe it or not the other neighbors that rock the neighborhood actually live not across the street - but behind my neighbors and across the street. They have a giant second story deck that wraps down to a hugh patio. When they throw a party they are very serious about it. It starts loading in mid-day on Friday and kicks off on mid-day Saturday. They have a full speaker system for the deck and patio and it kicks! I have to admit that their afternoon and early evening mixes are actually pretty hot. A great blend of Korn, Hurt, Taproot, Snow Patrol, The Cranberries, Dave Matthews, Dylan, Sheryl Crow, Aerosmith, Santanna - you get the idea - Rock that spans the age groups. However, when the younger group exits - around 9 or so, the music mix shifts and that's when it gets sort of bizarre. Then we hit a blend of Disco Diamond Oldies and Heavy Metal with an occasional - believe it or not opera piece thrown in. I actually think the opera is in there to encourage the less wasted guests to go home. It does thin out the party over time. Luckily we are treated to just two or three of these parties each year - and since most of the neighborhood attends - who are we to complain?
As for me? I just try to play it loud when I know my neighbors have gone off to work. So the occasional times when I work from the house or take a day off - then I kick it in. I do wonder though - for those who are listening - Just how odd my collection must sound. So far I must be doing okay - I haven't found any cakes on the patio - I guess that is a good sign.
Rock Steady and enjoy the rain
Its Cold Out Here....but Beautiful....
Thursday, October 25, 2012
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
Full Tilt Slam
So my son said to me the other night that he did not want to have a job like mine. Wow - talk about the full tilt slam. Up against the face - hello and what do I do with that comment? No reply works - no matter which way I go - I am either judging him or I am edgy about myself - its a no win reply on my part. So I just sipped my wine and continued chopping the veggies. Sometimes if you let the silence linger it gets filled in on its own. - Luckily he had more on his mind - so this time it worked.
He did not want to work 10-12 hour days and then on the weekends doing something he did not even like.
That comment really brought me up short.
You see, I had not realized that I did not like my job. The funny thing is - the more I thought about what he had to say - the more I sort of had to agree with him.
Only there are a few subtle differences. It is not the job I do not like. It is the pace of the job.
I still very much enjoy what I do. I even enjoy working with the people I work with (most of them and almost all the time too). I have just gotten tired of the full out run that it takes to get this job done.
But here is the hard part. I don't know how to slow down.
Doesn't that sound ridiculous? I should know how. I look around me and I can see plenty of people who seem to have the knack for doing it. - Yet here I am kicking it pell-mell, feeling like hell while I am doing it, and not having the faintest clue how to put the brakes on.
Maybe I am just hoping I will run out of gas? And of course, that is precisely what I am most afraid I will do. What happens if I do run out of gas? I actually don't know if I could handle doing ......nothing.
I think I could handle going a bit slower - just not crawling or stopping.
I guess I am not destined to be a straight 7 hour a day kind of gal - or even a 5 day a week worker. But I think I could easily get used to 50-60 hour work weeks.
My son it seems has figured out that he can handle the 50-60 hour work week. Its not the work part that is an issue - he doesn't mind that - its the Lack of Life part that he thinks would be a problem for him. He wants to continue to expand his culinary skills (Amen to that - as long as I can get a seat at the table every now and then) and he wants to try other new things. He doesn't want to get stuck in a rut where he stops growing.
OMG - For just a moment there he sounded very much like me. Or the me I can be when I have more time and my growing is not limited to the books I consume in between sleeping and working.
(Incidentally it is Wednesday at 4:06 pm and I am now on book 4 for the week - if you start the count from Sunday a.m. - I would only be on number 3 but the boy who doesn't want to have a job like mine did want to read the last book I started so I plowed through Revenge of the Dwarves in 2 days so he would have it before he ran out of Jordan books) - And now you know my hidden secret - I am a Bookaholic.
In any event - I think perhaps my son has gotten it only partially right - I do not like the pace of my job -
I love my job
I just want to love my life too
I think a full tilt slam may have been part of what I needed. Now I just need a great book on building brakes at work...............
He did not want to work 10-12 hour days and then on the weekends doing something he did not even like.
That comment really brought me up short.
You see, I had not realized that I did not like my job. The funny thing is - the more I thought about what he had to say - the more I sort of had to agree with him.
Only there are a few subtle differences. It is not the job I do not like. It is the pace of the job.
I still very much enjoy what I do. I even enjoy working with the people I work with (most of them and almost all the time too). I have just gotten tired of the full out run that it takes to get this job done.
But here is the hard part. I don't know how to slow down.
Doesn't that sound ridiculous? I should know how. I look around me and I can see plenty of people who seem to have the knack for doing it. - Yet here I am kicking it pell-mell, feeling like hell while I am doing it, and not having the faintest clue how to put the brakes on.
Maybe I am just hoping I will run out of gas? And of course, that is precisely what I am most afraid I will do. What happens if I do run out of gas? I actually don't know if I could handle doing ......nothing.
I think I could handle going a bit slower - just not crawling or stopping.
I guess I am not destined to be a straight 7 hour a day kind of gal - or even a 5 day a week worker. But I think I could easily get used to 50-60 hour work weeks.
My son it seems has figured out that he can handle the 50-60 hour work week. Its not the work part that is an issue - he doesn't mind that - its the Lack of Life part that he thinks would be a problem for him. He wants to continue to expand his culinary skills (Amen to that - as long as I can get a seat at the table every now and then) and he wants to try other new things. He doesn't want to get stuck in a rut where he stops growing.
OMG - For just a moment there he sounded very much like me. Or the me I can be when I have more time and my growing is not limited to the books I consume in between sleeping and working.
(Incidentally it is Wednesday at 4:06 pm and I am now on book 4 for the week - if you start the count from Sunday a.m. - I would only be on number 3 but the boy who doesn't want to have a job like mine did want to read the last book I started so I plowed through Revenge of the Dwarves in 2 days so he would have it before he ran out of Jordan books) - And now you know my hidden secret - I am a Bookaholic.
In any event - I think perhaps my son has gotten it only partially right - I do not like the pace of my job -
I love my job
I just want to love my life too
I think a full tilt slam may have been part of what I needed. Now I just need a great book on building brakes at work...............
Monday, October 22, 2012
Lost and Found
When is being lost the same as being found?
I suppose it is that moment in time when even though you know where you are, you feel is as if you are no where at all. It is when your favorite food tastes like cardboard and the voice on the phone is the only tether that seems to hold you in your seat.
I think sometimes that I am truly losing it. Or perhaps the real answer is that I just don't really care if I am losing it any more or not. I find myself counting the number of books it takes me to get through a week. I have a feeling that when the number exceeds 15 it is probably not a good thing.
Some folk are voracious eaters or drinkers. I am a voracious reader. I am always running out of books. I have taken to purchasing titles that vaguely sound interesting and are not too expensive on my Kindle in lumps - just to make sure I will not run out. I am not afraid of the dark. I am afraid of running out of words. The words of others.
If I do then the story reverts to my own - and frankly - I don't want to be in my own story anymore. It has grown both too maudalin and to mundane all at the same time. I am ready for a new author, a new heroine, a new shift in the plot line.
Hence the being lost while being found. I know where I am. I am caught in this story, in this seemingly never ending drama and trauma. (With the occasional comic relief of course - no good book goes without that.) I just feel like I am getting lost within the story as it unfolds.
And I pray, daily - more like by the second, that my children and my mom are not being sucked into this vacumm with me. That their presence in this story is not negating the writing of their own much more vibrant and hopefully exciting and fulfilling one of their own. Heaven forbid they be stuck in the grey vast panorama that seems to be inking the pages I wander through.
I do believe it is time for another book. I have been absent from reading for far too long. - By my reckoning it has been almost 3 hours and 20 minutes since I closed the last tome. I best find another before my life catches up with me. I do not want to think this out again - (thank you Fagan).
See you in the Library -
under
Lost and Found
I suppose it is that moment in time when even though you know where you are, you feel is as if you are no where at all. It is when your favorite food tastes like cardboard and the voice on the phone is the only tether that seems to hold you in your seat.
I think sometimes that I am truly losing it. Or perhaps the real answer is that I just don't really care if I am losing it any more or not. I find myself counting the number of books it takes me to get through a week. I have a feeling that when the number exceeds 15 it is probably not a good thing.
Some folk are voracious eaters or drinkers. I am a voracious reader. I am always running out of books. I have taken to purchasing titles that vaguely sound interesting and are not too expensive on my Kindle in lumps - just to make sure I will not run out. I am not afraid of the dark. I am afraid of running out of words. The words of others.
If I do then the story reverts to my own - and frankly - I don't want to be in my own story anymore. It has grown both too maudalin and to mundane all at the same time. I am ready for a new author, a new heroine, a new shift in the plot line.
Hence the being lost while being found. I know where I am. I am caught in this story, in this seemingly never ending drama and trauma. (With the occasional comic relief of course - no good book goes without that.) I just feel like I am getting lost within the story as it unfolds.
And I pray, daily - more like by the second, that my children and my mom are not being sucked into this vacumm with me. That their presence in this story is not negating the writing of their own much more vibrant and hopefully exciting and fulfilling one of their own. Heaven forbid they be stuck in the grey vast panorama that seems to be inking the pages I wander through.
I do believe it is time for another book. I have been absent from reading for far too long. - By my reckoning it has been almost 3 hours and 20 minutes since I closed the last tome. I best find another before my life catches up with me. I do not want to think this out again - (thank you Fagan).
See you in the Library -
under
Lost and Found
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