Lost and Found

When is being lost the same as being found?

I suppose it is that moment in time when even though you know where you are, you feel is as if you are no where at all.  It is when your favorite food tastes like cardboard and the voice on the phone is the only tether that seems to hold you in your seat.

I think sometimes that I am truly losing it.  Or perhaps the real answer is that I just don't really care if I am losing it any more or not. I find myself counting the number of books it takes me to get through a week.  I have a feeling that when the number exceeds 15 it is probably not a good thing. 

Some folk are voracious eaters or drinkers.  I am a voracious reader.  I am always running out of books.  I have taken to purchasing titles that vaguely sound interesting and are not too expensive on my Kindle in lumps - just to make sure I will not run out.  I am not afraid of the dark. I am afraid of running out of words.  The words of others.

If I do then the story reverts to my own - and frankly - I don't want to be in my own story anymore.  It has grown both too maudalin and to mundane all at the same time.  I am ready for a new author, a new heroine, a new shift in the plot line.

Hence the being lost while being found.  I know where I am.  I am caught in this story, in this seemingly never ending drama and trauma. (With the occasional comic relief of course - no good book goes without that.)  I just feel like I am getting lost within the story as it unfolds.

And I pray, daily - more like by the second, that my children and my mom are not being sucked into this vacumm with me.  That their presence in this story is not negating the writing of their own much more vibrant and hopefully exciting and fulfilling one of their own.  Heaven forbid they be stuck in the grey vast panorama that seems to be inking the pages I wander through.

I do believe it is time for another book.  I have been absent from reading for far too long.  - By my reckoning it has been almost 3 hours and 20 minutes since I closed the last tome.  I best find another before my life catches up with me.  I do not want to think this out again - (thank you Fagan).

See you in the Library -

under

Lost and Found