Silence is often a blessing. Many times it is absolutely the right answer. There are times when people tell each other too much. Information overload. I am certain we have all been in positions where we have been told things we would rather not know. This may have been from a friend or about a friend and it leaves us with information we could have done quite well without. There are also times when we ( I know I have) have shared information that our friends would prefer to have not heard. In this case silence may well indeed be golden - but often there are reasons why people speak out - and in the end the information does come forth.
In either of these moments it leaves both the person sharing and the person receiving at distinct disadvantages. Obviously the person sharing probably needs to hear something from you. Even if it is nothing more than a confirmation that they have been heard. And the receiver most likely would prefer to ignore the information and slide past it. It is in these precise moments that Silence is Not Golden.
No matter how difficult it may be respond to the person delivering the unwelcome information, you do need to respond. Even if all you do is confirm what you have heard. If they are talking about another friend, you may just want to let them know that you hear them, but would prefer not to get any more information of that nature. More often than not it is personal to them. This may make it trickier and harder to handle, but you can still get there. Let them know you have heard them and then essentially tell them the same thing. Let them know that it is not a topic that you are into or comfortable with and shut it down.
Far better for the person sharing to know that they have crossed a comfort zone with you than for them to believe that you either a) simply did not listen or b) did not care. And if the latter is true, it is stilll better to tell them straight up, it will only improve how they handle things going forward and simplify your life greatly at the same time.
People do not always hear what they want to, and it is not up to you to tell them what they want to hear. It is also not up to you to listen to things you would prefer not to. But being silent when confronted with information overload will only entice more to come, or cause additional strain on those who are confiding in you. Either way one or both of you are losing.
Silence can be golden - but I find that is usually in solitude, with sunsets and sunrises, not in regard to friends and relationships. At least, that's my point of view - what's yours?
Its Cold Out Here....but Beautiful....
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Voyages of the Intrepid Blogger
Space, the final frontier, these are the voyages of the intrepid blogger. Sending out messages across the internet that perhaps may never be read. Alas, that is the way of the word on the web.
Yet write we do. Perhaps even write we must.
What is the compulsion that drives us to put our thoughts out to the public at large? What drives this connection to the vastness of the web?
This concept is riddled with existential elements and fraught with Jungian overtones. Perhaps even Freud might have an idea or two, were he here to weigh in on the drives that push people to bare their innermost thoughts to public viewing.
Is there some tantalizing, tendril of electricity that juices the writer up when they hit "post"? Are they secretly sending messages to specific people, hoping beyond hope that their special someone will miraculously read their esoteric diatribes and somehow get a clue? On this last one, let's hope not. Only the seriosuly deluded would succumb to this concept - unless of course they are a failproof writer with clarity beyond measure AND they are sending the blog directly to the object of their desire. With that, only the second half is likely to produce results, assuming their chosen reader actually opens their email.
No, I believe there is an essential need to just clear the brain of whatever is floating around in there. To drop it off on the web and let it float off into the vacumm. If by chance the thought happens to connect and bounce back with a random comment or two, then that is a bonus.
Another day - another voyage -
Have a great one.
Yet write we do. Perhaps even write we must.
What is the compulsion that drives us to put our thoughts out to the public at large? What drives this connection to the vastness of the web?
This concept is riddled with existential elements and fraught with Jungian overtones. Perhaps even Freud might have an idea or two, were he here to weigh in on the drives that push people to bare their innermost thoughts to public viewing.
Is there some tantalizing, tendril of electricity that juices the writer up when they hit "post"? Are they secretly sending messages to specific people, hoping beyond hope that their special someone will miraculously read their esoteric diatribes and somehow get a clue? On this last one, let's hope not. Only the seriosuly deluded would succumb to this concept - unless of course they are a failproof writer with clarity beyond measure AND they are sending the blog directly to the object of their desire. With that, only the second half is likely to produce results, assuming their chosen reader actually opens their email.
No, I believe there is an essential need to just clear the brain of whatever is floating around in there. To drop it off on the web and let it float off into the vacumm. If by chance the thought happens to connect and bounce back with a random comment or two, then that is a bonus.
Another day - another voyage -
Have a great one.
Monday, April 26, 2010
Catch Me if You Can
When the world has lost its flavor. When it seems that the color fades. How do you find the energy to try a new dish or paint your palette fresh?
I look at the sky outside my window and there is so much movement there. From the clouds that drift in their dream-like state to the cars that fly past. I can tell in these quiet moments that life won't just sit still. Try as I might I can't hold it back from its pulsing tide.
In that knowledge I realize that the world has never really lost its flavor and the colors have not faded. I have just let myself momentarily disassociate from what can bring me joy - from what does bring me joy. All I really have to do is re-connect to the attributes of the world that feed my soul the energy it craves.
In the last roughly 48 hours I have left myself drift in and out of touch with this abundance. I have clung too tightly to obvious detours, places that will only lead to brick walls - when I just as easily could open the door and walk quite casually into the light of day.
Resolute I stand (actually since I am typing, it is fairly clear that I am sitting- but the imagery is better this way) - Resolute I stand - ready to enter that flowing, pulsating tide of life. To absorb and to add to the beat, building the great rhythm that flows around us and feeds us all. Our shared orchestral dance of abundance.
I refuse to shackle myself to memories, sidebar remarks and hopes whispered in the dark. I am. And that is enough to ignite the karmic spark that will enable me to be, to believe and to rise unfettered to those clouds I can still see in the clear light just outside my window.
Catch me if you can..............
I look at the sky outside my window and there is so much movement there. From the clouds that drift in their dream-like state to the cars that fly past. I can tell in these quiet moments that life won't just sit still. Try as I might I can't hold it back from its pulsing tide.
In that knowledge I realize that the world has never really lost its flavor and the colors have not faded. I have just let myself momentarily disassociate from what can bring me joy - from what does bring me joy. All I really have to do is re-connect to the attributes of the world that feed my soul the energy it craves.
In the last roughly 48 hours I have left myself drift in and out of touch with this abundance. I have clung too tightly to obvious detours, places that will only lead to brick walls - when I just as easily could open the door and walk quite casually into the light of day.
Resolute I stand (actually since I am typing, it is fairly clear that I am sitting- but the imagery is better this way) - Resolute I stand - ready to enter that flowing, pulsating tide of life. To absorb and to add to the beat, building the great rhythm that flows around us and feeds us all. Our shared orchestral dance of abundance.
I refuse to shackle myself to memories, sidebar remarks and hopes whispered in the dark. I am. And that is enough to ignite the karmic spark that will enable me to be, to believe and to rise unfettered to those clouds I can still see in the clear light just outside my window.
Catch me if you can..............
Friday, April 23, 2010
Luck?
Ever wonder what it takes to be lucky?
Is there some inherent trait? A chemical or genetic thread that some people carry that generates luck that others some how lack? Is it just random? Or do people really make their own luck - for better or worse?
Have you ever tried concentrating when you roll the dice? Concentrating on what you want to come up? Do the dice treat you well? Do you often get the combination you are looking for, or at least have the numbers add up to what you want? Or are you more like the average Joe, with seemingly chaotic responses from those little cubes of chance?
Life it seems can often feel like a daily roll of the dice. You win or you lose. Sometimes the loss feels massive, though most of the time the days seem to balance out. A little good here. A little - OMG!, that really sucked there. But for the most part the daily teeter-totter swings into place and you balance on the tip of that little center triangle. (Thank God.)
As I stand here on tip toe, balancing precariously, and contemplating this issue of luck, it strikes me that my time might be better spent just stepping down. Why concern myself with luck at all? Better to ignore the dice, ignore the daily ups and downs and concentrate on the large view.
Perhaps we make our own luck simply by embracing our lives as they are. Wishing for what we do not have and perhaps cannot have is not likely to make us feel lucky (or happy). Finding what it is that we already have that is of significant worth, now there is a place for solid ground.
A place of calm in the center of any storm.
In stepping from my teeter-totter and in pitching my dice into the nearest trash can, I find myself looking at brand new vistas. I have so much that luck does not even seem an appropriate word to embrace my world. I need a bigger, stronger word to describe it. Luck is just too small.
Not that I am dispensing with the concept all together - having the day to day benefits are great. It is just good to be centered enough to know that I don't have to live on luck alone.
I wonder now, for those who feel lucky all the time, the ones who are always concentrating on the roll of the dice, is life scary? Or do they carry the confidence in their winning streak so close to their hearts that every day is just another chance to win?
Is there some inherent trait? A chemical or genetic thread that some people carry that generates luck that others some how lack? Is it just random? Or do people really make their own luck - for better or worse?
Have you ever tried concentrating when you roll the dice? Concentrating on what you want to come up? Do the dice treat you well? Do you often get the combination you are looking for, or at least have the numbers add up to what you want? Or are you more like the average Joe, with seemingly chaotic responses from those little cubes of chance?
Life it seems can often feel like a daily roll of the dice. You win or you lose. Sometimes the loss feels massive, though most of the time the days seem to balance out. A little good here. A little - OMG!, that really sucked there. But for the most part the daily teeter-totter swings into place and you balance on the tip of that little center triangle. (Thank God.)
As I stand here on tip toe, balancing precariously, and contemplating this issue of luck, it strikes me that my time might be better spent just stepping down. Why concern myself with luck at all? Better to ignore the dice, ignore the daily ups and downs and concentrate on the large view.
Perhaps we make our own luck simply by embracing our lives as they are. Wishing for what we do not have and perhaps cannot have is not likely to make us feel lucky (or happy). Finding what it is that we already have that is of significant worth, now there is a place for solid ground.
A place of calm in the center of any storm.
In stepping from my teeter-totter and in pitching my dice into the nearest trash can, I find myself looking at brand new vistas. I have so much that luck does not even seem an appropriate word to embrace my world. I need a bigger, stronger word to describe it. Luck is just too small.
Not that I am dispensing with the concept all together - having the day to day benefits are great. It is just good to be centered enough to know that I don't have to live on luck alone.
I wonder now, for those who feel lucky all the time, the ones who are always concentrating on the roll of the dice, is life scary? Or do they carry the confidence in their winning streak so close to their hearts that every day is just another chance to win?
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
On Faith
Life is an experiment, a never ending classroom. Most of the people we meet we have to take in on faith. What they say to us and how we interact with them can grow into friendships, deeper intimacies or even animosities. But behind it all, is the simple faith that the actions of those we are with, the words that they share with us - that these are coming from a center of truth.
Every so often a difficult life lesson is delivered to you. One that involves your understanding of faith. One that shakes your beliefs to the core. You will question your ability to understand and relate to others. You may even question your sanity.
When this happens, try not to be too hard on yourself. Remember, people do not always gift you with the truth. Perhaps they mask this even from themselves. It is possible to lie to yourself, though not many people do this very well for any extended period of time.
If you find yourself with your faith in someone close to you shaken. If you find that the truth was far different from what you thought it was. Ask yourself if you shared the truth of who you were with the person who has shaken your faith in them. If you can answer truthfully that you were honest about who you were and where you were with them, then stand tall. Your inability to see through their sham does not make you less. It may make you feel as if you have lost some undefineable value, that something has been taken away from you.
Try not to take this feeling of loss out on the other people in your life or those that may come into your life. This may be difficult as trust is an easy thing to withhold, and that is a very large part of faith.
Learn from your experience as best you can. Retain your belief that people can be real. And try very hard not to let go of Your Faith - the consequences of that - well - the faithless should not take this away from you - and you should not let them.
No it is not easy - but no one ever promised that life would be easy.
It can, however, be joyous and fun. Walk into the light....CarrieAnn :)
Every so often a difficult life lesson is delivered to you. One that involves your understanding of faith. One that shakes your beliefs to the core. You will question your ability to understand and relate to others. You may even question your sanity.
When this happens, try not to be too hard on yourself. Remember, people do not always gift you with the truth. Perhaps they mask this even from themselves. It is possible to lie to yourself, though not many people do this very well for any extended period of time.
If you find yourself with your faith in someone close to you shaken. If you find that the truth was far different from what you thought it was. Ask yourself if you shared the truth of who you were with the person who has shaken your faith in them. If you can answer truthfully that you were honest about who you were and where you were with them, then stand tall. Your inability to see through their sham does not make you less. It may make you feel as if you have lost some undefineable value, that something has been taken away from you.
Try not to take this feeling of loss out on the other people in your life or those that may come into your life. This may be difficult as trust is an easy thing to withhold, and that is a very large part of faith.
Learn from your experience as best you can. Retain your belief that people can be real. And try very hard not to let go of Your Faith - the consequences of that - well - the faithless should not take this away from you - and you should not let them.
No it is not easy - but no one ever promised that life would be easy.
It can, however, be joyous and fun. Walk into the light....CarrieAnn :)
Monday, April 19, 2010
Busy little beavers
They say, if you keep very, very busy you don't notice how quickly time passes. I suppose this is true. What they don't tell you is that when you do slow down, even when it is just long enough to take a deep breath before trying to sleep everything comes pouring into your head.
All the details of the months, weeks, days and minutes that you have somehow missed. All that time that you spent running from task to task, being so industrious, comes crushing down on your chest. It knocks the wind out of you and leaves your breathless with a tangy metallic taste on your tongue. The bitter taste of wasted time.
We spend so much time just chasing dreams or trying to keep up with what we think is demanded of us (by our families, our lovers, our jobs, and our friends). We never really even take the time to ask all these contributing stakeholders if these demands are real, we just keep racing to fill in each perceived void. All of this patching and darning of loose ends leaves us very little time to actually enjoy the life we are leading, the family, friends, lovers and even co-workers we probably take for granted in our lives. And to some extent this is fine. If we stopped long enough to pay attention to these people it would upset the natural rhythm of things. We could kinesthectically throw the world off tilt. Not the best of ideas.
On the otherhand, why should any one of us have to live trapped in the shell of assumed demands? Why not just take the day off to be with whoever you want to spend time with. Obviously you can't just scrap your job every day. But once or twice a year - or month? might just be enough to give you a little added incentive and perhaps even leave you feeling like a whole person intead of a snapshot caught in a frame. And if more of us did that, then perhaps it would start a cultural rebellion.
Perhaps by the end of summer we could all be just a little freer. Perhaps a bit less constrained, and if luck provides, great deal wiser and happier to be alive.
All the details of the months, weeks, days and minutes that you have somehow missed. All that time that you spent running from task to task, being so industrious, comes crushing down on your chest. It knocks the wind out of you and leaves your breathless with a tangy metallic taste on your tongue. The bitter taste of wasted time.
We spend so much time just chasing dreams or trying to keep up with what we think is demanded of us (by our families, our lovers, our jobs, and our friends). We never really even take the time to ask all these contributing stakeholders if these demands are real, we just keep racing to fill in each perceived void. All of this patching and darning of loose ends leaves us very little time to actually enjoy the life we are leading, the family, friends, lovers and even co-workers we probably take for granted in our lives. And to some extent this is fine. If we stopped long enough to pay attention to these people it would upset the natural rhythm of things. We could kinesthectically throw the world off tilt. Not the best of ideas.
On the otherhand, why should any one of us have to live trapped in the shell of assumed demands? Why not just take the day off to be with whoever you want to spend time with. Obviously you can't just scrap your job every day. But once or twice a year - or month? might just be enough to give you a little added incentive and perhaps even leave you feeling like a whole person intead of a snapshot caught in a frame. And if more of us did that, then perhaps it would start a cultural rebellion.
Perhaps by the end of summer we could all be just a little freer. Perhaps a bit less constrained, and if luck provides, great deal wiser and happier to be alive.
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Chilling
There are days when you find yourself in a world filled with panic. Mostly this is of your own making. If you are very, very lucky you will know someone who has the ability to connect with you in a way that pulls the heat out of the moment and brings you back into reality. Let's face it when you hit the panic stage, most people are way beyond the stratosphere and not dealing with anything without a heavy dose of hyperbole at best.
If you are not lucky you will find yourself running amuck in that panic zone until you either run out of energy to fuel the panic, get an answer to your issue that cools your jets, or do something so ridiculus that even you have to stop and laugh.
Fortunately, in my circumstance, I have the good grace to have someone, who regardless of the way the world is working, will take the time to tell me to chill out. So for today and for all the other days when they have have stepped in and saved me from myself, thank you. And for all the other panic-saving people - the world thanks you - for saving them from dealing with all of us whacked out and crazed people.
Now for the action item of the day - if you have been there - and I know I have - its your turn to pay it forward. Next time you have the opportunity to help a friend unplug from the frenzy - step up. Believe me, it may be one of the most important and treasured things you do for them. And if nothing else - all of the other people that have to interact with them will definitely appreciate your kind and humane effort
If you are not lucky you will find yourself running amuck in that panic zone until you either run out of energy to fuel the panic, get an answer to your issue that cools your jets, or do something so ridiculus that even you have to stop and laugh.
Fortunately, in my circumstance, I have the good grace to have someone, who regardless of the way the world is working, will take the time to tell me to chill out. So for today and for all the other days when they have have stepped in and saved me from myself, thank you. And for all the other panic-saving people - the world thanks you - for saving them from dealing with all of us whacked out and crazed people.
Now for the action item of the day - if you have been there - and I know I have - its your turn to pay it forward. Next time you have the opportunity to help a friend unplug from the frenzy - step up. Believe me, it may be one of the most important and treasured things you do for them. And if nothing else - all of the other people that have to interact with them will definitely appreciate your kind and humane effort
Monday, April 12, 2010
Breathe
Its a good day to be breathing. Actually a great day to be breathing.
There are some days when you really wish that your alarm would die a sudden and horrible death. Then there are those that the alarm, while not your friend, is much easier to accept as a reminder that you have a day to greet.
Today was a greet the day kind of day. Amazingly enough, it has been that way all day. Despite the return to overcast weather, it has just been a productive day. All the worries and concerns, were no problem, they could just be discarded. Anything that I would normally pause over with concern has been easily hurdled.
Can't help but wonder, why some days are just easier that way. Is my moon in the seventh house? Has Mercury aligned with Mars? Or did I just manage to have a great hair day? Nope, checked the mirror, that last idea is completely off base.
I guess it really comes down to internal chemistry. Sometimes your body just tells you, "Chill, relax, enjoy this". And if you listen, it works. Everything pulls together and even the boring or normally irritating elements of the day seem to float past with nothing more than a vague recognition.
If I could capture this elemental attribute of days like this - if I could find a way to greet each day this way, I think I could define nirvana. Its not really having everything be perfect. Its more like being perfectly fine with the way everything is.
And of course if I could find a way to duplicate it, bottle it so it fit other people as well, then I could share it with the world. I could either be the next Bill Gates or I could just settle for making the world a much happier place. Either way I think I would be richer than my wildest dreams. Personally, I think the latter choice would be the more satisfying.
So how about you? When you think about it - if you could live each day just being perfectly fine with your world as it is - would you share that secret with the world? Would you do it for free?
Just wondering -
There are some days when you really wish that your alarm would die a sudden and horrible death. Then there are those that the alarm, while not your friend, is much easier to accept as a reminder that you have a day to greet.
Today was a greet the day kind of day. Amazingly enough, it has been that way all day. Despite the return to overcast weather, it has just been a productive day. All the worries and concerns, were no problem, they could just be discarded. Anything that I would normally pause over with concern has been easily hurdled.
Can't help but wonder, why some days are just easier that way. Is my moon in the seventh house? Has Mercury aligned with Mars? Or did I just manage to have a great hair day? Nope, checked the mirror, that last idea is completely off base.
I guess it really comes down to internal chemistry. Sometimes your body just tells you, "Chill, relax, enjoy this". And if you listen, it works. Everything pulls together and even the boring or normally irritating elements of the day seem to float past with nothing more than a vague recognition.
If I could capture this elemental attribute of days like this - if I could find a way to greet each day this way, I think I could define nirvana. Its not really having everything be perfect. Its more like being perfectly fine with the way everything is.
And of course if I could find a way to duplicate it, bottle it so it fit other people as well, then I could share it with the world. I could either be the next Bill Gates or I could just settle for making the world a much happier place. Either way I think I would be richer than my wildest dreams. Personally, I think the latter choice would be the more satisfying.
So how about you? When you think about it - if you could live each day just being perfectly fine with your world as it is - would you share that secret with the world? Would you do it for free?
Just wondering -
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Dark Vs Light
Finding your way in the dark can seem to be an impossible task. It is not.
Open your eyes and pause for a moment. It is not as dark as you think. Almost invariably there is light there, somewhere. Perhaps not a great deal, but light nonetheless. If you take the time to stand still your eyes will adjust. You will find that you can see. You can move through the darkness, surefooted and unencumbered.
I remember a idea from a poet, whose name I unfortunately cannot remember - it went something like this:
When you are lost in the Forest
Remember
You are not lost
The Forest knows where you are
Be Silent and the path will find you
Admittedly I have probably slaughtered the poet's structure and language here - but the concept is much the same as learning to walk in the dark. You are never really lost. You are never really in the dark. You are always centered, within yourself.
No one can take that power away from you, except you. No one.
Now, turn out the lights - and walk freely, along whatever path you choose.
Open your eyes and pause for a moment. It is not as dark as you think. Almost invariably there is light there, somewhere. Perhaps not a great deal, but light nonetheless. If you take the time to stand still your eyes will adjust. You will find that you can see. You can move through the darkness, surefooted and unencumbered.
I remember a idea from a poet, whose name I unfortunately cannot remember - it went something like this:
When you are lost in the Forest
Remember
You are not lost
The Forest knows where you are
Be Silent and the path will find you
Admittedly I have probably slaughtered the poet's structure and language here - but the concept is much the same as learning to walk in the dark. You are never really lost. You are never really in the dark. You are always centered, within yourself.
No one can take that power away from you, except you. No one.
Now, turn out the lights - and walk freely, along whatever path you choose.
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Making Rain Dance -
Its been raining now for what feels like forever. I can't believe just a few short days ago it felt like the beginnings of summer. Now it is like we are slipping into the first coolings of fall. Wisconsin weather, a blessing for those who really like to be introspective. But, a hindrance to those who just want to run into the wind and make friends with the person they find themselves to be when they stop, panting for breath.
I would much rather be running right now. Infact, I am beginning to think that keeping the wind on my face and the thoughts at bay sounds like a grand life plan. I mean, who really needs to know themselves that much anyway? How much interior knowledge is required? If we know how to eat right, get the proper exercise, generally take care of our bodies and at least occasionally feed our minds as well - that should be more than enough to be healthy.
I know a person (let's not get into gender here) who reads self-help, self-analysis, personal growth stuff all the time. They even listen to books on tape on these topics. It has to make you wonder - what is so broken that they need to be looking for ways to fix themselves constantly? Will they ever be perfect enough? Is it possible in their universe to be fixed? I guess I agree with the concept that life is for learning. But does that mean on those terms? Isn't there a place where the learning is in the experiences, not in the analysis?
Really - even listening to the steady drumming beat of the rain - tell me, doesn't it kind of put a rhythm into you? I know it is a dull dreary day outside. But if you just concentrate on the beat, can't you feel it move inside you?
And after that, can't you turn that cold, fallish day, into a thrumming get ready to move moment? I think you can. I think we all can. If we stop thinking long enough to start feeling and experiencing the moment from just a little different perspective - then grab that thought and run with it - straight into the wind.
I would much rather be running right now. Infact, I am beginning to think that keeping the wind on my face and the thoughts at bay sounds like a grand life plan. I mean, who really needs to know themselves that much anyway? How much interior knowledge is required? If we know how to eat right, get the proper exercise, generally take care of our bodies and at least occasionally feed our minds as well - that should be more than enough to be healthy.
I know a person (let's not get into gender here) who reads self-help, self-analysis, personal growth stuff all the time. They even listen to books on tape on these topics. It has to make you wonder - what is so broken that they need to be looking for ways to fix themselves constantly? Will they ever be perfect enough? Is it possible in their universe to be fixed? I guess I agree with the concept that life is for learning. But does that mean on those terms? Isn't there a place where the learning is in the experiences, not in the analysis?
Really - even listening to the steady drumming beat of the rain - tell me, doesn't it kind of put a rhythm into you? I know it is a dull dreary day outside. But if you just concentrate on the beat, can't you feel it move inside you?
And after that, can't you turn that cold, fallish day, into a thrumming get ready to move moment? I think you can. I think we all can. If we stop thinking long enough to start feeling and experiencing the moment from just a little different perspective - then grab that thought and run with it - straight into the wind.
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