They say, if you keep very, very busy you don't notice how quickly time passes. I suppose this is true. What they don't tell you is that when you do slow down, even when it is just long enough to take a deep breath before trying to sleep everything comes pouring into your head.
All the details of the months, weeks, days and minutes that you have somehow missed. All that time that you spent running from task to task, being so industrious, comes crushing down on your chest. It knocks the wind out of you and leaves your breathless with a tangy metallic taste on your tongue. The bitter taste of wasted time.
We spend so much time just chasing dreams or trying to keep up with what we think is demanded of us (by our families, our lovers, our jobs, and our friends). We never really even take the time to ask all these contributing stakeholders if these demands are real, we just keep racing to fill in each perceived void. All of this patching and darning of loose ends leaves us very little time to actually enjoy the life we are leading, the family, friends, lovers and even co-workers we probably take for granted in our lives. And to some extent this is fine. If we stopped long enough to pay attention to these people it would upset the natural rhythm of things. We could kinesthectically throw the world off tilt. Not the best of ideas.
On the otherhand, why should any one of us have to live trapped in the shell of assumed demands? Why not just take the day off to be with whoever you want to spend time with. Obviously you can't just scrap your job every day. But once or twice a year - or month? might just be enough to give you a little added incentive and perhaps even leave you feeling like a whole person intead of a snapshot caught in a frame. And if more of us did that, then perhaps it would start a cultural rebellion.
Perhaps by the end of summer we could all be just a little freer. Perhaps a bit less constrained, and if luck provides, great deal wiser and happier to be alive.
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