Fractures in the Looking Glass

From time to time we find ourselves looking at the reflections of our lives.  They may be fractures in the looking glass, phrases caught on pages or actually the people stepping out of the frame in living color.  How do we interact with these relections?  Do we see them as glimpses of ourselves?  Are they whispers of wantings for what might have been, if only we had been different then?  Or are they images we want to run from because they show us a reflection of ourselves that we don't want to admit ever existed?  I suspect in many ways they twist and turn and become a bit of both of the latter.

The past is a strange thing.  It can be a sweet treat that turns rancid in the mouth just as easily as it can be the scarry darkness at the bottom of the stairs that suddenly illuminates revealing the bright component that completes the puzzle you have been working on for years. The important thing to keep in mind, is that it is indeed the past.  No effort on your part can make it breathe into the present.  You cannot pick up the fragment of the mirror and force the image to walk in this time and space any more than you can give the words on the page any depth or meaning that isn't anchored to the exact moment when they were truly vocalized.   Certainly you can imbue your life with overtones from the past.  You can let it sway your decision making, give it precedence in such a way that the past has more power than the present to move you forward.  But then, when you think of it that way - how do you ever move forward?  If everything you do is driven by the past?  If there is truly no present because you do not exist in that time frame based on your own capacity to frame the time?

I have found that a good does of nostalgia can be warming.  In fact I think it is healthy.  I believe it keeps us atttached to our roots.  But I know quite a few people who actually live day to day hoping that tomorrow will bring back yesterday.  And let's face it, that is just not going to happen.  If you are lucky, the very best you can hope is that the address you lost will turn up again sometime in the future and you will be able to reconnect with the person you are missing.  But don't expect to find them unchanged - and don't ask them to see you as if time has not passed.

In a way it seems that is part of the tragedy of being human.  We spend such a large part of our youth rushing to grow up.  Discarding parts of our identity as we seek to become our "adult" selves, only to reach a certain point where looking over our shoulders is more satisfying then looking ahead.  Perhaps we tire of the race?  Or perhaps we tire of the mounting reqrets - for what we leave behind as we press ahead.  Whatever the reason it is best to learn that the past lies there in its glory, not to be raised again for the re-living of it.  But to be cherished for the memories it provides, the lessons we might take from it and the inspiration that hides beneath the surface.  Yes, inspiration, for even if the road has been long, harsh and winding, we have at least gotten far enough to look back upon it.  We have climbed this far, and that is worth the view.

There may indeed be fractures in the looking glass, but if I tilt them this way and that, when the light comes in I get a fine set or prisms.  How much more do I need?