This sleepy feeling warms me as much as it weighs me down. The portent of rain and shadow hovers over the bed. Each movement seems to drag itself through invisbible quicksand. It is almost as if I am moving through time that is begging to stand still.
Dressing for the day, I can sense that I am moving toward a vacumm. This will be a day that collapses around itself. A perfect day to reflect on nothing, to allow its utter lack of color to enable the soul to just float unfettered, knowing that the day will not carry forward or backward. It will just be - suspended.
There is a part of me that itches to get back to my normal hurried rhythms, driving and thriving through the rush of daily life. I suppose this accounts for the feeling of weight. Yet the warmth cannot be discounted. I feel cocooned in this knowledge, this feeling that somehow this day has become disconnected. It is a rare gift, if accepted. A day of complete ease.
I recognize that my responsibilities have not been lifted. Those that demand my time and attention are still there, at my doorstep, on my phone, waiting (patiently or not) for a response to their latest missive. But I sense, that somehow, I have carved out a space in time, where I have freed myself from these demands.
How or why, I do not contemplate. I am so used to being totally tapped and wired in that this rarity is not something I want to understand. I would rather just enjoy the moment. Breathe softly. Watch the steam form patterns on the glass and sip my tea. I listen to the ever increasing quiet that grows inside and begin to find that smile that I can no longer suppress, rising umbidden to my lips.
Is this what freedom feels like? Or do I just need a vacation?
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