Be Happy Love, Be Happy

Have you ever struggled with that old cliche, the one that starts with "If you love something (someone) set it free?"   If you have,or if you are, then I suppose this post is for you as much as it is for me.

Loving enough to let go is a very hard thing to do.  To smile and walk away is a very, very, hard thing to do.  Yet, it is the right thing to do for those you love when they need to leave.  And, unfortunately, in this life those times do come.  Whether it is in the relationship of parent to child, lover to lover, or friend to friend, those times do arise.  And when they do the art of letting go is by far one of the greatest challenges of a loving heart.

This letting go, when what you want most is to pull that person closer to you is so very difficult.  Made more difficult still because in loving them you understand that they need to feel that you are okay with the change.  That wherever they go, whatever it is they need to do or become that requires the leaving, you will be fine.  This is the essential art in letting go.  Letting go without letting those you love see you struggle.

I am not suggesting that you tell them not to let the door hit them in the proverbial *#$ on the way out.  Of course they will know you love them as they leave.  But even in knowing this, they will believe that you are or will be - essentially whole.  And there in lies the conumdrum.  Because you are not whole, as they take such a very big part of you with them when they go.  I suppose this is eased if you know there will be a time when you will see them again, even if that time is months away.  Yet, there is so much that is missed in the intervening time.  So much life being lived and not shared.  This part is the ache and the rub.  And of course, if you know that the leaving is more on the level of permanancy - well then that definitely takes on more dimension.

I struggle now having just let someone go who means so much to me.  I know I will see them again very soon.  Yet in that small stretch of time so much will happen.  There will be momentous and even small interactions that will shape and change my loved one's character.  It is inevitable, as that is what life does, it shapes and molds us with the confluence of people and events, like river water carving rock.  And when next we meet, we will both be different people, perhaps in very small ways, or perhaps in quite profound ways.  I mourn the loss of time, yet celebrate the opportunities for growth that they will have.

If there were an easier path, I would surely take it.  I think most of us would.  But loving takes a stout heart and a brave countenance.  So I smile and wave, "Be safe, have fun, live well and love well."  And then I walk away, with each step repeating my mantra, "Be happy love, be happy."