Hello Again - anybody out there?

Writer's W(h)ine

Seems like only yesterday I was simply putting down the chatter in my head on this white space - and yet somehow in between now and then Participles and Portents intervened.

I have to admit I never thought I would be able to say - I have written a book.   Well now I can actually say it - and it is not - I have an idea for one- or I started it and it is gathering dust in a drawer somewhere - or lost in a suitcase in the back of a closet.  I actually completed it. 

I have no idea if it was fun for you to read or not - But I can tell you it was a blast to write - I almost miss it now - almost - the thrill of completion still trumps the litttle bit of desire to still be writing it.

But I do understand why people never finish - and why sometimes they never start -

If writing has ever been a dream - and I think it has for just about anyone who truly enjoys reading-

Than starting is that big blank slate between you and the dream.  As long as you never touch it, the dream remains pristine.  But as soon as you put ink on the page, its like a painter touching virgin canvas - no effort can really erase what you have done.  Sure you can throw the page away - or erase it from your computer - but in your mind you will know that you did not "create" what you set out to - amd the dream becomes tainted. Ah.............fear - it ain't pretty.

And if you do get past the opening stroke then the inner editor is sitting there - waiting to pounce.  You may get lucky and spend a few glorious weeks putting pages out - but sooner or later the desire to read what you have written will sneak up on you - and then - like a cobra the editor strikes - and suddenly you realize - you can't write.  As you read you begin to edit everything - and you get mired in making changes - the project lags - and eventually stalls as you give up on making it read as you envision it.

(Here is the one little thing I did learn.  Do not read your work until you finish it.  You can go back and nip and tuck if you remember something that is not aligned with where the book takes you - but don't give in to the urge to edit as you go.  I made it through this one - it is done. DONE.  And I am editing it now- and surprisingly - though I have quite a few edits - I have not thrown it in the trash - because I have found the parts that are what I envisioned.  And I can see how to make the rest get there through those pieces. )

Last challenge to actually ever being done- Is the urge to just keep writing the book.  The characters are my friends now.  The places have become parts of what I know of as home.  I am comfortable in those spaces, and in those "skins".  I miss my new friends.  It is hard to let them go.  And I can see why some authors spend years writing a book and why sometimes we start and never finish - because we just don't want to let go. 

I think this is perhaps the hardest part of the challenge - because I am still connected to the people in the book.  And much like pets, your characters become people too.

So I guess that's it,  I am a recovering author now.  I wonder if I can go to a support group for that?